JER BEAR WE MISS YOU SO

JEREMY WILLIAM SULLIVAN BORN MAY 6TH
TAKEN FROM US FEBRUARY 20 2005
 WE STILL WAIT FOR YOU
TO COME THRU THAT DOOR

TEARS WITHOUT END

DAYS WITHOUT NIGHTS

NIGHTS WITHOUT DAYS

TIME WITHOUT FORGETTING

FOOD WITHOUT TASTE

SLEEP WITHOUT REST

SORROW WITHOUT COMFORT

PAIN WITHOUT LIMIT
EMPTINESS WITHOUT BOTTOM

LIFE WITHOUT OUR SON

 As I walk this journey of a bereaved parent ….. I notice my whole world changed. My beliefs aren’t the same. My priorities weren’t the same and my future was changed forever. My whole life was shattered and I didn’t know where to begin to pick up the pieces or if I had the will to pick up the pieces. Everyone around me, even though very attentive to me, continued functioning in their own lives. I didn’t know where I fit in any more. I was alone … trying to figure out what happened in that split second, when they told me Jeremy was dead.
I noticed many things about my new world that I didn’t like. I knew then, if I was to survive my son’s death, things must be changed and it was up to me to change them.
I noticed … . The silence of people not mentioning Jeremy"s name or his life was deafening to me. There were no stories about him anymore. It was like out of sight out of mind. I wondered what this world was doing to me. My son lived. He was a part of my life. I had dreams for him. He was my future. I was so frightened that everyone would forget him. I needed to hear other people say my Jeremy's name. I needed to say his name and to tell stories about him. I could not stand the thought of going through the rest of my life not ever hearing or saying his name again. I knew then that part of my survival was going to involve keeping the memory of my son alive.
I noticed …. People removed Jeremys picture and other remembrances of him from their homes, thinking it was going to upset me seeing them. I needed to know that he was important to other people. Just because he died, it didn’t mean that memories of him couldn’t still exist.I noticed …. People would shy away from me, run down the other aisle of the grocery store rather than chance running into me. I needed more than ever for people to come up to me and give me a big hug, rather than shy away.

I needed to show them that talking with me was not going to be a painful experience for them and that being a bereaved parent was not contagious.
I noticed …. I struggled with something as simple as not being able to sign a birthday or anniversary card from our family because to do that, I would have to leave Jeremy's name off the card. I had signed his name for 21 years and there was no way his name could be left off the card. I also knew I needed to continue to write his name or people would forget him. It’s funny, I rarely sent Christmas Cards before Jeremy died. Now I make sure that I send cards to everyone I know so I can write his name to keep his memory alive. I noticed …. People were uncomfortable about what to say to me, so they would avoid mentioning Jeremy's life or death for fear they would remind me of him. They would also feel bad if they thought they would make me cry and then “what would they do with me?” It was easier for them not to say anything. What these people didn’t know is that they don’t remind me of Jeremy. I think about Jeremy every minute of every day. I will never forget his life or his death. Their mentioning Jeremy's name only made me feel better. A fter experiencing a few of these encounters, I knew then, I had to make people feel that it was okay to talk about Jeremy and that if there were tears, that was okay too. I always thanked people for bringing Jeremys name up and remembering him. If tears came first, I would explain that they did not make me cry and I really appreciate them talking to me about Jeremy. 
I noticed …. Some people thought that because my son was 21 years old, somehow he wasn’t my child anymore. Even though I was his parent, they assumed the grief would not be  as intense as if he were a baby or young child.  The night Jeremy died was the night my baby died. Our children are our children forever.
I noticed …. I didn’t know what to say when people asked me “how many children do you have?” This caused me great anxiety when it came up in a conversation. I let them know, I had three boys. Most of the time that was sufficient. If the conversation required more information. I told them that my middle son , Jeremy, died in an auto accident.....son, .. I told them about Jeremy, not so they could feel sorry for me, but, because I will always be his mom, he will always be my child and I could not deny he had lived. 
 I noticed ….That the old family traditions at Christmas, Jeremy's birthday and other holidays needed to be changed to include something that kept Jeremy's memory alive. We started new traditions. At Christmas, I have a Christmas gatering and everyone brings a gift for a boy or girl to be donated to Salem SCHOOL IN MEMORY OF jEREMY     It’s about family and friends takIng the time to remember Jeremy. To say his name. To let me hear his name. To tell me a funny story they remember. It means so much to me and has allowed me to continue to survive.
I noticed …. That even though it’s been four years Jeremy continues to live in the lives of others.  I will forever need to know that Jeremy has not been forgotten. These little mentions of his name let me know, I will survive.
I noticed …. After a year or two people were expecting the “old Gerry back.” They wanted me to move on with my life, to be happy and to try to forget my son’s death. I guess they read one of those psychology or medical books that give bereaved parents one year to recover. I know now, that the writers of those books never consulted a bereaved parent. Society doesn’t understand or seem to want to give us the time it  takes to get better. I let people know that I was working very hard on my recovery. I didn’t want pity. I wasn’t attention seeking or being a martyr when I cried. I wanted more than they did to feel like my old self again. I wanted the intense pain to stop. I hated where I was in my life and feeling this bad.
I let them know….I heard…that as the years pass, the pain gets softer, and the tears less, but I will never fully recover. I will always miss Jeremy. I will always grieve his death. He will always be apart of my life and I will never forget him.
My wish for you is that you will find peace and to know that your child is with you and will never be forgotten. " 

 

BOBBY AND KRISTAS WEDDING DAY

Bobby and Kristas wedding with the release of butterflies and John and Jeremy standing up for their brother in Jeremys Memorial garden

          

THANK YOU SHARON

              WITHIN OUR HEARTS WE KEEP 
            A SPECIAL PLACE FOR YOU JEREMY
          We TRY TO DO OUR BEST TO LIVE
           AS YOU WOULD WANT US TO
          WE LOVE YOU AND WE MISS YOU
          IN OUR MEMORY YOU ARE DEAR
           LOVED ,REMBERED, LONGED FOR
          WITH EACH PASSING OF EACH YEAR
 
     

              
                             

                       
              

          GOD FORGIVE THE SILENT TEAR
       WE ONLY WISH OUR JEREMY WAS HERE
          THERE ARE OTHERS YES WE KNOW
           BUT JEREMY WAS OURS AND WE 
                    LOVED HIM SO

 
                
           


           TIME MAY WIPE OUT MANY THINGS
            BUT THIS IT WIPES OUT NEVER
         THE MEMORIES OF THOSE HAPPY DAYS
          WHEN WE WERE ALL TOGETHER  
                
                   
                                  

     

             




THANK YOU JOHN



A FEW DAYS AFTER JEREMYS 24TH BIRTHDAY OUR SON 
JOHN ASKED US WHEN WE GOT HOME FROM WORK IF
 WE WANTED TO GO FOR A RIDE WITH HIM IT WAS 
MIDNIGHT AT NIGHT I ASKED HIM WHERE TO AND HE 
SAID I WENT DOWN TO JEREMYS ACCIDENT SCENE AND
 WEED EATED AND DID SOME WORK DOWN THERE
I TOLD HIM NO I'D GO SEE IT IN THE MORNING. I KNEW
 IN MY HEART THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD GO DOWN 
THERE AT NIGHT WE WENT DOWN THE NEXT MORNING 
AND JOHN HAD LAIDED MULCH AND GATHERED STONES 
FROM OUR CAMP A PLACE JEREMY LOVED THANK YOU
 JOHN IT LOOKS GREAT
      
     

     
                       

                     FEBRUARY 20,2005

            THE DAY OUR LIVES CHANGED FOREVER

                       
         JEREMY WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN OUR HEARTS.
     THE VOID IN OUR HEARTS WILL NEVER BE FILLED
      BUT WE HOPE SOME DAY WE CAN SMILE AGAIN. 
     UNLESS YOU HAVE LOST A CHILD YOU CAN NOT 
     IMAGINE THE PAIN AND THE MISERY YOU HAVE
      EVERY WAKING MINUTE WHEN I WAKE EACH 
     MORNING  TO A NEW DAY  I THINK OF JEREMY 
      REALIZING IT IS NOT A DREAM AND I HAVE 
      TO GET THRU ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT HIM
        WE WERE PLEASED AND HONORED TO HAVE

                        HIM IN OUR LIVES

                          


JEREMY WAS FOR SURE 
THE FAMILY CLOWN
JER BEAR
HOW YOU COULD
MAKES US LAUGH
AND NOW
THERE IS NO
 MORE LAUGHTER
MISS YOU JER BEAR


             
                                           
          
           

     
        
                                 

         
    





      
           THERES A SPECIAL ANGEL IN HEAVEN
             THAT IS A PART OF ME
       IT IS NOT WHERE I WANTED HIM
        BUT WHERE GOD WANTED HIM TO BE
          HE WAS HERE FOR JUST A MOMENT
        LIKE A NIGHT TIME SHOOTING STAR
        AND THOUGH HE'S IN HEAVEN
           HE ISN'T VERY FAR
       HE TOUCHED THE HEARTS OF MANY
      LIKE ONLY AN ANGEL CAN DO
      SO I SEND THIS SPECIAL MESSAGE
       PLEASE TAKE CARE OF MY ANGEL
        AND SEND HIM ALL OUR LOVE



                           

      


        





               

                             


             



   

       



       PLEASE LIGHT A CANDLE

TO LET US KNOWING YOU ARE 

THINKING OF

              JEREMY   


                                   

                               
                       
                  
                      
         LOVE YOU JER BEAR



      

                  YOU ARE ALWAYS ON OUR MINDS 
             NO MATTER WHAT WE DO
           ALL THE TIME WITHIN OUR HEARTS
             ARE ALWAYS THOUGHTS OF YOU

                         

                       



JEREMY LOVED TO GO CAMPING WITH 
HIS FRIENDS JEREMY LOVED CAMP FIRES
IN THE WINTER HE WOULD SIT IN FRONT
OF THE WOOD STOVE WITH THE DOOR OPEN
AND JUST WATCH THE FIRE
JER BEAR I HOPE YOU WAKE EACH MORNING
 AND GO CAMPING WITH ALL YOUR 
NEW FRIENDS



JEREMYS MEMORIAL TREE

JEREMYS MEMORIAL TREE HAS BEEN PLANTED IN 
FRONT OF SALEM CENTRAL SCHOOL. 
Bob and I thought we could move and plant this 300 lb. 
by ourselves Both Bobby and Meatball were busy at
 a fire drill. After many tries we both realized we 
could not do this on our own.Bob said I am going 
to flag down the next car that drives by
 to see if they will help us. 
Sure enough along came a jeep and 3 of Jeremys 
closest friends were in it. Josh, Kurt and Adam 
stopped and 
help us with the tree. Thanks Guys we could 
not of done it without you And Jeremy 
thanks for sending the help
  
                  
                   
 A SPRUCE WAS CHOSEN BECAUSE THE SCHOOL WILL USE 
JEREMYS TREE FOR THEIR TREE OF LIFE CERMONIES
EVERY YEAR.        
             



YOU SEE US SMILE
 YOU DON'T SEE TEARS BEHIND THAT 
SMILE YOU SEE US GO ON.. WORK...LIFE...
YOU SEE ME ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS
YOU DON'T SEE US TALKING TO JEREMY
YOU  THINK THEY ARE BACK TO NORMAL
 YOU DON'T SEE  THERE WILL NEVER BE NORMAL AGAIN
YOU SEE US SAD AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY 
SO YOU KEEP GOING
WE REALLY WANT  YOU TO MEMTION 
JEREMYS NAME AND A HUG
YOU SEE  LIFE GOES ON
 YOU DON'T SEE THAT ON FEB 20, 2005 THE 
LIFE I HAD IS NOW GONE FOREVER
YOU SEE THAT I AM STRONG
YOU DON'T SEE THAT MOST DAYS I'M INCHES FROM THE EDGE
 YOU DON'T SEE  THE PAIN, THE TEARS.
YOU DON'T SEE ME SCREAMING TO GOD TO LET ME HAVE
 JEREMY BACK
YOU DON'T SEE ME SCREAM TO GOD FOR ANSWERS
YOU DON'T SEE YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU
 HAVE WALKED IN OUR SHOES SO PLEASE STOP TELLING US WE
 HAVE TO 
GET OVER THIS THAT CAN NOT HAPPEN




                     





Dear Jeremy
The minute that you passed
Our hearts were split in two
One side filled with memories
The other passed with you

No one knows the heartache
Our smiles try to hide
No one knows the many times
We've broken down and cried

We want to tell you something
So there is no doubt
You're so wonderful to think about
And so hard to live without
WE MISS YOU WITH EVERY
BEAT OF OUR
WE JUST WISH YOU COULD
COME BACK HOME.....

                                

                                                                         
                 We think of you dear Jeremy
          And our hearts are filled with pain       
          This world would be heaven
            Could we hear your voice again
             Years have swiftly passed
            But still we don't forget
           For in the hearts that loved you best
                Your memory lingers yet             
        



               



                             


                  

         






    


     

              




          
                
               





                    
                                                      




                  








     

                        


                           

                                   


             MISS YOU JER BEAR
                ALL MY LOVE MOM

                                 

               





        MISS YOU JEREMY
           I TRUST YOU
              LOVE DAD

                                         



                      
                                   






                          





                                
                



                  


               

                    
                                





      

               
                                                                
            



                       
              
                 


               



       








    



            

                         
                 

         TIME HAS TAKEN ME FROM YOU
          ALTHOUGH NOT VERY FAR
        I'LL BE WATCHING THRU THE 
               SUNSHINE
       AND THRU THE BRIGHTEST 
                  STAR
               
        I'LL BE WATCHING ALL OF YOU
        FROM HEAVEN UP ABOVE
        SO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER
         AND CARRY ALL MY LOVE
                      
          IF YOU'RE WONDERING IF I'M 
                      THERE
         HERE'S WHERE YOU CAN START
       TAKE A LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF
        DEEP WITHIN YOUR HEART
                   
        I'LL ALWAYS BE YOUR SON
         AND ALWAYS YOUR BEST FRIEND
        SO ANY TIME YOU NEED ME
       CLOSE YOUR EYES I'M BACK AGAIN
    
            






                  


                                    

 

               
           

                       I often lie awake at night
              when the world is fast asleep
          and take a walk down memory lane
                with tears upon my cheeks
                     Rembering you is easy
                          I do it every day
                 But missing you is a heartache
                         that never goes away





       







          

                              






        

           
                                 



                                     
One day while reading the local paper I saw 
a camp for sale . . 
We bought in the fall of 2004 Jeremy would
 go down and clean brush and sit by a fire pit
 He built. Jeremy had such plans for that place. 
I had told Jeremy a month or so before the 
accident my husband and I were going to
 give him the property because out of the 3 kids 
he was the only one interested in it and we 
did not have time for it. The spring of 2005 did 
not come for Jeremy He never got to fininsh camp. 



      



GRIEF
It shoves away friends, scares away so 
called friends and makes you rewrite
 your address book
Grief will make a new person out of you
If it doesn't kill you first

         

                                 




         







                 


                           


                   JEREMY.........
                      So many days.......
            have passed me by....
              I want you back....
              I sit down and cry...
                       
                How do I cope...
              I really don't know...
                I want to fall in a heap...
              But I keep on the go...
                        
               Thinking of memories...
               I end up with a tear....
                 I know you can see me...
             I feel you near....
                        
           You send me signs....
            To brighten my day....
                          To let me know...
                  You are okay....
                       
           My broken heart aches....
              It is oh so sore...
                 I think of you ...
               And the tears just pour....
Well I must go..
           To fight another day....
                  Please don't forget..
          You're in my heart to stay..........





             

        

   THANK YOU FOR VISITING. 
   PLEASE LIGHT A CANDLE FOR
                   JEREMY
       FOR LIFE WITHOUT HIM
                 HAS BEGUN


                                                
                     

Jeremy loved duct tape carried it with him all the time and could make anything out of it. At Jeremys service his friends wore duct tape memorial pins.

JEREMY YOU COULD MAKE ANYONE LAUGH
IF THEY WERE HAVING A BAD DAY
NO MATTER HOW SAD I WAS
YOU COULD TAKE THE HURT AWAY
NOTHING COULD EVER STOP YOU JEREMY
OR MAKE YOU FALL
YOU WERE READY JEREMY TO TAKE ON THE 
WORLD READY TO DO IT ALL

BUT GOD DECIDED HE NEEDED YOU
SO FROM THIS WORLD YOU LEFT
BUT YOU TOOK A PIECE OF ALL OF US
OUR HEARTS IS WHAT YOU KEPT

YOUR BED IS NOW EMPTY
YOUR FACE I ALWAYS SEE
AND PLEASE ALWAYS KNOW THIS JEREMY
NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE YOUR PLACE

YOU LEFT WITHOUT A WARNING
YOU NEVER SAID GOODBYE
AND WE CAN'T STOP ASKING
THE QUESTION WHY?

NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME
THE HOUSE IS EMPTY WITHOUT YOUR LAUGHTER
BUT WE KNOW YOU ARE IN HEAVEN JEREMY
WACTHING OVER ALL OF US

YOUR SMILE COULD BRIGHTEN ANY ONES DAY
NO MATTER WHAT THEY WERE GOING THRU
AND KNOW JEREMY EVERY DAY FOR THE REST
OF OUR LIVES WE'LL BE MISSING YOU



      


             



           

           JEREMYS  FAVORITE  MOVIE


JEREMY WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT THE
 REMAKE OF WILLIE WONKA
WITH HIS FAVORITE ACTOR JOHNNY DEPP.
HE WOULD TELL US HE WAS GETTING THE 
FIRST SEAT AND THANKS TO JONAS HE DID 
HAVE THAT FIRST SEAT 
SEE STORY UNDER TRIBUTES


                

JEREMY YOU WERE RIGHT 
YOU DID GET THE FIRST
 SEAT

    JEREMYS FRIENDS AND FAMILY

            
         WAITING IN LINE TO SEE


CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
                IN MEMORY OF
                  JEREMY




        








                 

WE WALKED TOGETHER YOU AND I
A MOTHER AND HER SON
WE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS FOR TOMORROW
BUT TOMORROW DID NOT COME
WE WALKED TOGETHER YOU AND I
WE TALKED, WE LAUGHED,WE LOVED
WE SHARED SO MANY HAPPY TIMES
AND FOR THAT I THANK THE LORD ABOVE
WE WALKED TOGETHER YOU AND I
BUT ONLY FOR A SHORT TIME
FOR ALL TOO SOON IT ENDED
LEAVING PIECES OF BROKEN HEARTS BEHIND
I MISS YOU MORE THEN WORDS CAN SAY
BUT I AM THANKFUL I GOT TO WALK WITH YOU
EVERY PRECIOUS MOMENT OF EVERY DAY
I LOVE AND MISS YOU JER BEAR




                              











PROM NIGHT
   



                           
       
       
        

           






        


             
PLEASE LIGHT A CANDLE FOR JEREMY OR
 WRITE A STORY TO LET US KNOW YOU WERE
 HERE. THIS SITE IS FOR ALL THAT
  LOVED JEREMY TO REMEBER HIM AND TO
SHARE STORIES ABOUT JEREMY. PLEASE 
VISIT OFTEN FOR I'AM ALWAYS ADDING,
CHANGING,AND UPDATING JEREMYS SITE.
THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO US JEREMY MUST 
NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. YOU ARE WHAT GETS 
US THRU THIS.


                           

MY MIND SOMETIMES UNDERSTANDS YOUR GONE
BUT MY HEART DOESN'T AND NEVER WILL
                                       MOM




        



Mom and DaD

To My dearest family,some things I'd like
 to say
But first of all to let you know I arrived 
here okay
                 
                   
I'm writing this from heaven
 where I 
dwell with God above
Here there's no more tears of 
sadness
Here there is only enternal love
                     
Please don't be unhappy just because
I'm out sight
Remember I'm with you every morning,
noon,and night
                       
The day I had to leave you when my life
on earth was through
God picked me and welcomed me and
said I welcome you
                       
It's good to have you back again you
were missed while you were gone
As for your dearest family they'll be
here later on
                       
I need you here so badly you are part of
my plan
There is so much that we can do to help
our mortal man
                        
God gave me a list of things that he
wished for me to do
Foremost on the list was to watch and
care for you
                         
And when you lay in bed at night the
day's chores put to flight
God and I are closets to you in the
middle of the night
                          
When you think of me on earth
And all those loving years
Because you are only human they
are bound to bring you tears
                            
But don't be afraid to cry it does
relieve the pain
Remeber there would be no flowers if
there wasn't some rain
                             
I wish that I could tell you all that God
has planned
If I were to tell you 
you wouldn't understand
                             
But one thing is for certain
thou my life on earth is over
I'm closer to you now than I ever
was before
                              
There are rocky roads ahead for you
And many hills to climb
But together we can do it by taking
one day at a time
                             
It was always my philosophy and I'd
like it for you too
That as you give unto the world
the world will give to you
                            
If you can help someone who is in
sorrow and pain
Then at night you can say to God
my day was not in vain
                             
And now I'am contented that my life was
worthwhile
Knowing as I passed along the way
I made alot of people smile
                              
When you are walking down the street
and you have me on your mind
Just remember
I'm walking in your footsteps
Just half a step behind
                                
And when it's time for you to go
from that body to be free
Remember you're not going
you're coming here to be with me



          

                                       





              
   


THE MORNING I WISH NEVER CAME
 It was a normal Saturday morning. 
  Jeremy got up and we talked.He said he was going out 
to lunch with his friend Josh and he'd 
be home later. He went to lunch and then came home. 
We talked some more I asked what his plans were 
for Saturday night and he said they were going to a
 friends camp for the night and he asked his
 younger brother Meatball to get him some 
firewood. Meatball got Jeremys fire wood and got
 some pallets in case they wanted to have a bon
 fire.  Jeremy told me he was spending the night and 
I asked him what time he'd be home in the morning 
because I thought instead of cooking breakfast we'd
 all go out for breakfast in the morning. He said he'd
 be home early in the morning. I got  ready for work 
and when I left Jeremy was laying on the couch just
 hanging out and watching TV. We said our good byes
 he told me to have a fun night and  I told 
him to be careful and I would see him in the morning.
When I got out of work the roads were 
slick and I got home around 1;30 a.m. I told Bob the
 roads were slick and he said Meatball was in bed
  and I knew Bobby was working and Jeremy was 
spending the night at a friends. All was well everyone 
was safe or so I thought. I tossed and turned to 
4 a.m. but thought it was because of all the 
coffee I drank. 
Next thing I knew Bob is shaking me and said 
Gerry you have no idea how much I hate to 
wake you like this. I thought he meant because I 
tossed and turned all night and it was time for 
breakfast and I said no problem. He said Gerry
 you don't understand Jeremys been in a 
car accident.  I still think at that
 time I panicked but thought on my God I need to
get there but thinking broken bones. I jumped out of 
bed and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and he said 
Gerry you don't understand Jeremys gone we need to
 go pick up Bobby. Gone what do you mean gone. 
Gone to the hospital but not gone not Jeremy he's fine.
 Now my head is really spinning. you can't mean 
Jeremy is gone.
My oldest son Bobby is a vol. fireman he heard the call
 but was just getting off work so he missed the first
 fire truck but went to the firehouse to get the 
second truck. The first fire truck after arriving and 
seeing  it was Bobbys brother tried to turn Bobby
 around. They radioed Bobby and told him they did not 
need the truck but he was close so he kept going. 
I recall Bobby telling me later he told them on the 
radio where he was and said I'll keep coming and when
 he asked them if they had copied his message no one
 answered him the fire chief told me later he did not
know what to say. We got into the car and I have to 
say I do not recall my youngest son getting into the car 
nor being at the accident or getting into the car to
 come home. We drove 2 miles down the road and saw 
all the firetrucks,ambulances etc.  I jumped out 
and ran to Bobby never in my life did i think this 
would happen to me alone did I think my one son would 
have to call to say my other son was dead. I begged 
and pleaded for them to let me go see Jeremy but
 but no one would let me all I recall is some fireman 
picking me up from the ground and putting me in the 
car and we went home . We were home for minutes 
when the fire chief knocked on the door his thoughts
 were to keep scanner chasers away of course my 
thought was as I screamed thru the house was that he
 was  here to tell us he had made a mistake it was not
 Jeremy but when I begged him Are you sure are 
you sure it is Jeremy are you sure Jeremy is gone.
 He looked at me with tear filled eyes and said Gerry 
I'm sure it is Jeremy.   I never could figure out
 how I didn't hear the phone ring when Bobby called I
 later found out when I got Jeremys cell phone 
that Bob had heard the rescue squad call on the 
scanner and took the cordless into the kitchen to
 call Jeremy to make sure he was okay
  Of course my house was full of people for days. 
And I guess later that night I laided on the 
couch and must of dozed off and woke to snow and
 thought that was the worst  dream I"ve ever
 had and truned the news on to see if it was going 
to snow all day and as I turned the tv on it said 
Jeremy Sullivan 21 of Salem died and I saw 
the car. I knew it was no dream. People stood for
 hours in the cold to say goodby to Jeremy at the funeral
 we played the theme from Willie Wonka Jeremy would
 not want some little old lady playing Amazing Grace. 
 Our lives are not the same without Jeremy he
 brought so much laughter into this house.  
 Jeremy was not only my son but my friend as all 
my children are. My kids always talk to me as a friend
 not always as a mother/son relationship sometimes 
they tell me things I really I did not want to know
 but listen. Jeremy I have to tell you not a minute goes
 by that I don't think of you and till we meet again 
I will never let anyone forget you. I can't wait till I see
 you again and we can sit for hours and you can
 tell me all you have been doing with that great sense
 of humor you have. I love you Jeremy and please when
 you look down at me don't be disappointed I'm trying 
but I know you know this is how I'd be. When you hear
 Dad and I are coming please meet us at the
 gate so we can be together again.  Jeremy I'm so 
sorry I was your Mom I was soppose to protect 
you from harm and fear. Please
 visit often That is what keeps us going

                                            mom










JEREMY

SOMETHING WILLREMIND ME
I NEVER KNOW JUST WHEN

IT MIGHT BE SOMETHINGSOMEONE SAYS
AND IT ALL COMES BACK AGAIN

THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER
THE HAPPINESS, THE FUN

AND ONCE AGAIN I FEELTHE PAIN
OF LIFE WITHOUT MY SON 

IT'S SAID THAT TIMES AHEALER
I'M NOT SURE THIS IS TRUE
THERES NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY
THAT I DON'T THINK OF YOU

                





















I HAVE LOST A LIFE NOT MY OWN
BUT IT WOULD OF BEEN EASIER
TO OF LOST MY OWN
THAN TO OF LOST THE LIFE
MORE THAN I LOVE MY OWN



                        
WHENEVER JEREMYS BROTHERS WOULD SAY
 TO JEREMY I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU. JEREMY
 WOULD SAY BETTER GET SOME FRIENDS
 BOY WHEN JEREMYS BROTHERS SAW ALL
 JEREMYS FRIENDS THAT CAME TO SAY GOOD BYE 
TO JEREMY WERE THEY GLAD THAT JEREMY
 NEVER GOT HIS FRIENDS AFTER HIS BROTHERS

         

As kids we lived together
We fought, we laughed, we cried
We did not always show the love we
had inside
We shared our dreams and plans
We shared some secrets too
All the secrets we shared is what now
bonds my love to you
We grew to find we have a love
That is very strong today
It's a love shared by our family that
will never go away
You are my brother not by choice,
but by the nature of birth
We could not choose a better brother
You are the best on earth

NOW LIVING IN HEAVEN


BROTHER WHERE ARE YOU
PLEASE COME BACK HOME
DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE
LIFE WITHOUT JUST ISN'T THE SAME
JEREMY YOU ARE SO FAR AWAY
AND I MISS YOU MORE EACH PASSING DAY
JEREMY WHY DID YOU LEAVE
ONE DAY DEATH TOOK YOU AWAY  FORM US
JEREMY WE LOVE YOU
DO YOU LOVE AND MISS US TOO?





       




MY LAST NOTE TO JEREMY

WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME HOW MANY CHILDREN I HAVE
I REPLY 3
WHEN THEY ASK THEIR AGES
I REPLY

WHEN THEY ASK IF THEY LIVE AT HOME
I REPLY
ONE LIVES AT HOME
ONE OWNS HIS OWN HOME
AND ONE LIVES IN HEAVEN 
AND JEREMY WILL BE FOREVER 21

                            
  



IF YOU KNEW JEREMY YOU LOVED JEREMY

143 JEREMYS FAVORITE 
 NUMBER WHICH MEANS
 I LOVE YOU.............






Lies Mom Tells
      
My mom she tells alot of lies
She never did before
From now until the day she dies
she'll tell a whole lot more
        
She use to tell the truth alot
But now it doesn't matter
I died and went to heaven
her life is all a shatter
         
Ask my mom how she is
She'll say yes i'm fine
She wants to beg please help me
 I can't find that boy of mine
           
Ask my mom how she is 
She'll say i'm alright
And if that's the truth then tell
me why does she sit and cry each night
             
Ask my mom how she is
She seems to cope so well
She didn't have no choice you see
or the strength to yell
         
You think you know the feeling
but this can not be
For even thou you loved me
You didn't love like she
              
She'll smile and say it's okay
God has a plan
But she'll turn away and cry
Because she just don't understand
            
Tell a joke and she will laugh
but she is not okay
She wants to share the joke with me
But she can't do that today
          
I watch her from heaven
Her pain distrubs my peace
Will someone please take care of her
and thus take care of me
          
Someday you'll feel better
Yes i will she lies
She knows this will not happen
until the day she dies
         
I was so lucky
I had him all those years
They passed away in a minute
I shed so many tears
         
Ask my mom how she is
She'll say thank you good
She can not tell you how she feels
Oh how I wish she could
          
Ask my mom how she is
Im fine i'm well i'm coping
For gods sake mom just tell the truth
Say your heart is broken
          
Ask my mom how she is
I'm fine i'm well and you
i'll shake my head in heaven
It simply is not true
          
She loved me all her life
I loved her all of mine
But if you ask her how she is
She'll lie and say she's fine
My mom she's not gone mad yet
But oh so very near
Don't ask my mom how she is
Ask how is she really
         
I am here in heaven
 can not hug from here
If she lies to you don't listen
Hug her hold her near
           
On the day we meet again
I'll smile and i'll be bold
I'll say you're lucky to get here mom
With all the lies you told
            






      
                               
JEREMY NOT A MINUTE GOES BY 
THAT YOU ARE NOT IN 
OUR THOUGHTS






I HOPE THAT WE CAN FIND YOU IN 
HEAVEN 
BECAUSE WE ARE LOST DOWN HERE
WITHOUT  YOU



SIGNS FROM JEREMY


WE FIND DIMES EVERYWHERE AND ONLY DIMES.
 IN OUR SHOES, ON OUR PILLOWS, IN THE SINK
 AT WORK BOB HAS EVEN FOUND THEM IN
  BRAND NEW CARS AT WORK,AT THE STORES,
IN MY CAR.

IF A HUG WAS A SECOND I'D 
SEND YOU HOURS







    

         JEREMY ALWAYS SAID ALTHOUGH
      HE FOUND CEMETARIES INTERESTING HE 
     NEVER WANTED TO BE PUT INTO ONE. WE 
    HAVE A MEMORIAL GARDEN FOR HIM AT 
     THE HOUSE.
    IT IS A SPOT WHERE JEREMY WOULD PLAY 
   WHEN HE WAS LITTLE AND PRETEND HE 
     WAS IN  THE WILDERNESS.
 WE HOPE THE GARDEN  GROWS AS JEREMY DID
                        
  
       


DADS GRIEF
It must be very diffcult
to be a man in grief
since men don't cry and men are strong
No tears can bring relief
It must be very diffcult to stand
up to the test
And take calls and visitors
So she can get some rest
They always ask if she's alright
And what she's going thru
But seldom take his hand and say
My friend how are you
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break
He dries her tears and comforts her
But stays strong for her sake
It must be very diffcult to start
each day anew
And try to be so very brave for
HE LOST HIS BABY TOO.........











I SAID GOD I HURT
AND GOD SAID I KNOW
I SAID GOD I CRY ALOT
AND GOD SAID THAT'S WHY I GAVE 
YOU TEARS
I SAID LIFE IS SO HARD
AND GOD SAID THAT IS WHY I GAVE YOU
LOVED ONES
I SAID BUT MY LOVED ONE DIED
AND GOD SAID SO DID MINE
I SAID BUT YOUR LOVED ONE LIVES
AND GOD SAID SO DOES YOURS
I SAID WHERE IS JEREMY NOW
AND GOD SAID MY SON IS BY MY SIDE AND
JEREMY IS IN MY ARMS



LETTER FROM JEREMY

        FEB. 20, 2005

HI ITS ME JEREMY FROM WAY UP HIGH
I SEE YOUR SADNESS BUT PLEASE DON'T CRY

I FEEL YOUR SORROW, I SEE YOUR PAIN
BUT IN YOUR HEARTS I WILL ALWAYS REMAIN

MY LIFE WAS SHORT, I LIVED LIFE FAST
BUT WHEN ALL WAS SAID I HAD A BLAST

I TRAVELED THRU A TUNNEL OF LIGHT
TO A BEAUTIFUL PLACE OH WHAT A SIGHT

OH LOOK THERE'S JESUS CALLING YOU SEE
HE'S ARMS ARE OPEN HE'S SMILING AT ME

I WILL MISS YOU ALWAYS I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW
BUT ON THIS JOURNEY I HAD TO GO

I WILL WATCH OVER YOU FROM THE WINGS OF A DOVE
AND SEND YOU ALL MY ENTERNAL LOVE

NO NEED TO STAND AT MY URN AND CRY
I AM NOT THERE I DID NOT DIE

SO NOW IS THE TIME TO SAY FAREWELL
UNTIL WE MEET IN HEAVEN WHERE I NOW DWELL

I SEND MY LOVE AND KISSES TOO
I SEND THEM TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I PRAY FOR 
THE BEST
THAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER AND THAT YOU TOO ARE 
BLESSED

SO NOW UNTIL THAT TIME WHEN WE MEET AGAIN
GOODBYE GOODBYE I LOVE YOU AMEN

 
                     

                                            

                

                                                                 

                       
            

 










WE MISS YOU JER BEAR

PLEASE LET ME CRY

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD BE OVER IT
I'LL NEVER BE OVER IT
PLEASE DON'T TELL ME HE'S IN
A BETTER PLACE
HE'S NOT HERE WITH ME
PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU KNOW
HOW I FEEL
UNLESS YOU'VE LOSE A CHILD
PLEASE DON'T ASK ME IF I FEEL
BETTER
I DON'T HAVE THE FLU THERE IS NO BETTER
PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU HAD HIM
FOR 21 YEARS
AT WHAT AGE WOULD YOU GIVE UP YOUR CHILD
PLEASE DON'T TELL ME AT LEAST YOU
HAVE TWO OTHER CHILDREN
WHICH CHILD OF YOURS WOULD YOU
CHOSE TO DIE

PLEASE DON' TELL ME YOUR SORRY
PLEASE SAY YOU REMEBER JEREMY
PLEASE MENTION HIS NAME
FOR HE DID EXIST
JEREMY IS VERY MUCH LOVED AND MISSSED
PLEASE JUST LET ME CRY
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
I DON'T WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND
YOU DON'T KNOW THE PAIN
I DON'T WANT YOU TO EVER KNOW THE PAIN
PLEASE LET ME CRY








                                                                



JEREMY AND HIS FRIENDS STARTED A CLUB 
CALLED SMALL 
TOWN CUSTOMS. IT WAS A CLUB FOR LOW 
RIDER VECHILES. JEREMY WAS ALWAYS WORKING
 ON HIS TRUCK ALWAYS THINKING IT JUST WASN'T RIGHT.

www.geocities.com/rwusmalltowncustoms/history



Jeremys brother took Jeremys truck to a truck show
 in memory of Jeremy and brought home a trophy.
 Jeremys truck is now in the 
garage being finished



 JEREMY STILL HAD 
WORK PLANNED FOR HIS TRUCK
HE WANTED THE PAINT REDONE WE HAVE 
LEFT IT UP TO 
JEREMYS FRIENDS ON HOW THE TRUCK 
WILL BE FINISHED




 

 
JEREMY AND HIS GOOD FRIEND JOSH WOULD GO 
ON ROAD TRIPS LOOKING FOR VOLKSWAGONS JEREMY
 AND JOSH WITH JOSH DRESSING UP AS JEREMY
 FOR HALLOWEEN THEY EVEN TOOK SOME OF JEREMYS
 HAIR AND DUCT TAPED INTO ONE OF JEREMYS HATS


JEREMY ALWAYS HAD A GOOD TIME AND
 A SMILE ON HIS FACE




You don't get over you just get thru it,
You don't get by it because you can't get
 around it
It doesn't get better It just 
gets differant
Everyday grief puts on a new face

JEREMY AND HIS GOOD FRIEND NIK HAD 
PLANS SINCE HIGH SCHOOL TO GO TO MARDI 
GRAS AND IN 2005 THAT DREAM 
CAME TRUE. THEY HEADED OFF TO MARDI GRAS
 WITH A CARE PACKAGE FULL OF COOKIES, 
KRISPIE TREATS,PEANUT BUTTER, JELLY 
ETC FROM HOME. THEY TOOK NIKS TRUCK WHICH 
ON THE WAY THERE THEY FOUND HAD NO HEAT 
SO THEY STOPPED AND BOUGHT POCKET 
WARMERS AND LAID THEM 
ACROSS THE DASHBOARD TO DEFROST
 THE WINDSHIELD. WHAT A PAIR... BUT
 JEREMY SAID IT WAS THE BEST TIME HE EVER 
HAD AND PLANNED TO GO IN 2006 THEY TRAVELED 
HUNDREDS OF MILES AND I WAS A NEVEROUS
 WREK. THEY CAME HOME AND JEREMY HAD 
SUCH STORIES TO TELL JEREMY WAS KILLED 
TWO WEEKS LATER 2 MILES FROM 
HOME THANK YOU NIK FOR MAKING JEREMYS 
DREAM COME TRUE..

  


  

JEREMY WAS ALWAYS DRAWING IN A SKETCH PAD
 OR ON HIS WALLS. HOW I WOULD YELL AT HIM
FOR WRITING ON HIS WALLS NOW THESE WALLS
I READ EVERYDAY









JEREMY LOVED TO PLAY JOKES ON ANYONE
 AND EVERYONE. THE FIRST YEAR WE HAD BEAR
 OUR FAMILY DOG I TOLD ALL THE KIDS HE WAS
 PART OF THE FAMILY AND EVERYONE HAD TO BUY
 BEAR A CHRISTMAS PRESENT. THEY ALL DID BUT 
JEREMY MADE HIS. EVERY YEAR JEREMY WOULD 
MAKE BEAR A HOMEMADE GAG GIFT FROM AN ELECTRIC
 WATER BOWL TO A LARGE BONE HOOKED 
UP TO DYAMITE. EVERY YEAR THE WHOLE 
FAMILY COULDN'T WAIT
 TO SEE WHAT JEREMY HAD CREATED. 
LAST CHRISTMAS JEREMY TOLD ME HE ALREADY 
HAD AN IDEA FOR NEXT CHRISTMAS 
NEXT CHRISTMAS NEVER CAME. I RECALL MY 
FATHER ASKED JEREMY DO YOU HATE THE DOG 
THAT MUCH AND JEREMY SAID NO IT'S JUST A 
TRADITION.BEAR NOW WALKS AROUND WITH A 
NAME TAG THANKS TO JEREMY THAT
 SAYS SHIT HEAD.
JEREMY MADE THIS AND HOOKED TO A LARGE 
BONE FOR BEAR FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR






MORE SIGNS


I WAS DRIVING HOME ONE NIGHT FROM WORK 
THRU A BLIZZARD. AS I DROVE I THOUGHT I'M 
NOT SCARED ANYMORE
 OF THE BAD ROADS. AND I THEN THOUGHT 
YOU KNOW IF I HAPPEN TO GO OFF THE ROAD
 AND HAVE AN ACCIDENT 
SO BE IT AT LEAST I WOULD NOT HAVE TO 
FACE THIS CONSTANT PAIN ALL THE TIME,
 AS I HAD THOSE THOUGHTS A BREEZE OF AIR 
WENT THRU MY HAIR BUT WINDOWS WERE 
ALL UP. 'I THOUGHT IS THIS JEREMY I 
ALOUD BEGGED GOD IF THIS IS JEREMY PLEASE 
LET ME SMELL HIM.  I DID NOT
 GET THE SMELL. LATER THAT NIGHT WHEN 
EVERYONE WAS SLEEPING AGAIN I TALKED TO GOD. I TOLD HIM 
YOU HAVE TAKEN JEREMY YOU HAVE TURNED MY 
LIFE UP SIDE DOWN WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO 
ASK FOR. THE NEXT DAY I 
WAS GETTING DIRTY CLOTHES OUT OF MY 
BEDROOM WHEN I  
CAME FACE TO FACE WITH A MIRROR ON MY 
DRESSER.

IF YOU CAN NOT READ IT IT SAYS
LOV U
IT'S NOT IN THE DUST IT IS IN THE SILVER 
BACKING OF
 THE MIRROR
THESE THINGS ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GOING


UPDATES
JASON AND JENN BAYLOR HAD A BABY BOY
 THEY NAMED JEREMY

CLAYTON AND ASHLEY HAVE MOVED TO NORTH CAROLINA AND had a baby girl

 WE STILL HAVE JEREMY PINS  FOR 
ANYONE WHO WANTS ONE

CLAYTON HAS ASKED ME TO DO SWEAT SHIRTS LIKE
JEREMYS T SHIRTS ANY ONE THAT WANTS ONE
 PLEASE CALL

A TREE HAS BEEN PLANTED AT SCHOOL IN JEREMYS
MEMORY 

A SCHLORSHIP WAS GIVEN AGAIN IN JEREMYS
 NAMESCHLORSHIP WAS WON BY
Nicole Keays



JEREMYS GARDEN IS DOING WELL. WE HAVE ADDED
 ANOTHER POND IN THE GARDEN. THE BIRDS ARE
 VERY HAPPY WE GO THRU ABOUT 60 LBS OF
 BIRD FEED A WEEK
SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE ADDED THING TO JEREMYS GARDEN
BEA CHADWICK, BARB JARVIS AND FAMILY,MARIANNE
ERICKSON,DEAN DOIN AND FAMILY, ARMAND DOIN 
AND FAMILY,GRANDPA AND LANA,EMILY HANKS,
GARDEN WORKS,KRISTA,MEATBALL,LINDA MARLO,
JANE EARTHROWL,CARL LANES,KATHY FLEMING 
AND FAMILY,
JUNIPER SWAMP FLOWERS AND MOM AND DARWIN 
LINDA SAUNDERS I'M SURE 
I'M FORGETTING SOMEONE IF SO I'M SORRY. WE THANK 
EVERYONE WHO HAS ADDED TO HIS GARDEN AND THANK 
YOU FOR VISITING THE GARDEN.

JEREMYS CLOTHES WILL BE MADE INTO A QUILT
WHEN I CAN PART WITH THEM

ROSEMARY HAS MADE AN ANGEL PIN IN MEMORY 
OF JEREMY WHICH CAN BE PURCHASED AT
designs by rosemary .com

Jeremys Christmas gathering went very well we have 
92 gifts to give to children in the area

  Jeremys garden was hit by high winds December 1st 
we will rebuild
We have rebuilt Jeremys garden and it is doing well

Nik has moved from his home but took many memories
 of Jeremy with him including sections of the wall

 Bobby and Krista were married in jeremys memorial Garden

June 14th 2008

Jeremys garden after high wind damage